my lover's home

when next we will be lovers
crossing the path and jumping over the bridge of friendship
which sadly wasn't meant to be.

i held your hand
and traced them
over triangles.
you looked down and i could never see into your eyes.
or perhaps we would see something there
neither of us wanted to see.

like a leaf that falls to the ground
cutting through the air
i know i've already hit the ground
transcended most boundaries.

one day you will sit outside on the ground
your face awash with tears
and i will ride by
as if by chance.
i'll take your hand and lead you for a drink
and yet i know
the distance between us.
too great.

it'll be two years past
so i would offer you a smoke and watch
as you inhale your first puff
and think of all your first -times
and mine.

you'll grow and take your first-steps.
time waits for no one.
one day you'll love.
one day you'll suffer.

i think the shutters are already down,
a joss stick or two lights the lonely night.
there are holes in the shutters
but i'll not peep.
like the nobody i am,
i'll slip quietly into the night
so quietly that you'd never know i was there.
just like all the times i'd watched you.

waxing contradictions.
my lover's home.