grille

the sky's now turning grey as i speak. respite is in the air, the last week before school closes. i wish i could speak of summer breeze and restlessness, of the smell of summer that comes after spring, but i can't.

the grille gates have not changed and today i got off the bus. the same bus that i was on 5 years ago that stopped abruptly when a car sailed merrily into the lane the bus was travelling along. strangely though, that the driver of the car was more shaken than the driver of the bus, pausing and getting out of the car with a look of astonishment. astonishment at the near-accident, astonishment at escaping and perhaps ridicule.

that time 5 years ago, i don't know where he was. pottering around the wet market perhaps, gnawing on his fingers. cut your nails, please. playing with stones, fruits, grass, bits. many many things change in 5 years. like the other time when we went to block 213 to a tiny room and listening to songs that included "alleluiah". i still remember suggesting that we use that song while it rang out "alleluiah!" pretty weird.

there are many called fuckwits around me.

i'm tired.

i don't mind the rushes and sprouts of youth coming back to me, after all i could have forgotten what it was like once to be young and dumb. i'm not infalliable, i'm not perfect.