a song

trails of music, tinkles of notes, a shred of a voice singing about a big concept called "if". and i was dreaming about the last time i heard this song, not too long ago, but not too recent either, i can't remember exactly when, but it must have been one of those times in the black freezing room with my feet on the cushions, my arms hugging my legs to my chest in a futile attempt to keep warm. perhaps it was that time when i stared opposite and noticed a girl, a normal prebuscent girl, i've no idea what made me take special notice of her that one day, she, walking down orchard road, and later seeing her in the room opposite, gave me a start.


***

oh i dread weekends now, for their inability to stretch beyond, into nothingness, into promises of pampering, lazy afternoons, of lazy jaunts, of smoke and gyrates, of shopping with sunglasses, of royal copenhagen tea lounging.
and instead, each weekend rushes past me, drowning me in a swirl of marking on saturdays till the afternoon, depriving me of a long nap in the evening when i've to wake up for church, depriving me of partying and booze most of the time, plunking me into a grease-filled place with grimy tables and stools when i indulge in oily food (no, that isn't so bad after all actually) and making me go round in circles of worry at the coming week ahead - am i on task? what do i need to do for the coming week ahead? on sunday.

but it's just another start on a monday, not exactly blue but not exactly a day when i jumped out of bed thinking of joy and an inability to wait and see how the day turns out. pah.

and so my days will be over-run with deadlines to meet and things to accomplish. but whose aren't?
oh, and exactly a year back, life "began" for me. one of the beginings.