incomprehensible entry

the radio is now blaring a song which suspiciously sounds pretty "chinese-ey", what with all the ai-ee-ai-ee-aii. but it's a welcome change from hearing it enamate from those dusty miserable computer speakers in school. so thursday is today and the week is soon going to be over. but not quite since there is official duty on bloody saturday. a bloody saturday i repeat. probably shall pop across the causeway sometime before this week draws its' final breath.

oh and i've ordered clay for my poor art class pupils, who have been so bored in my classes that they are still brushing off the mildweed and cobwebs. so clay it shall be to occupy them for two weeks and to shut their mouths for two weeks.

so v'day came and went and by the way i'm having nightmares at times. the last i dreamt was about this stupid guy and me and we went into this house of horrors. anyway the point was that there was this monster or some human who was like a monster and wanting to keep us there, we had to creep out of the house when he was sleeping, then run for our lives to the nearest bus-stop. and the damn place was somewhere in bukit batok with bus 315. i believe there IS a bus 315 really, actually.

oh and the reason why i dream of bukit batok is also partly because my mum met my cousin at the interchange last night and she was wasting time walking around the shelves of ntuc because she was waiting for her hubby to pick her up from yishun. not at the location my mum met her, she still has to take a train to yishun. in her pregnant state. oh and that is why i think marriage is a dead institution. not an institution of love, really. i think it suffices to marry another as long as you don't want to club each other on the head all the time, resulting in untimely deaths. because of love or lust, we get together. we part if we get sick of each other. if there are flowers and wine and nice dinners, we stay together as a testimony to the illusions of love that hinder us from looking upon love itself. and soon, due to the illusions of love, we get married and start to have children.
and that is when the shit often hits the fan.
women get bloated, ugly, whiny, oily, the insecurity fans and spreads. post-natal blues.
and you almost never looks as you do post-baby. and then the flowers disappear and love too fades.
how lame is marriage?

***

and i envy the younger generation. a wave of jealousy at what i deem i've been cheated of during the period that is supposed to be one of the best in my life. where were the handphones, the neo-print machines (okay we had them but the or-beet ones), the laugter, the friends, the MONEY?
as usual i think money often makes the world go round, but that doesn't mean i'm a materialistic bitch. it's just the way things are.

forgive this incomprehensible entry anyway. next better one.