the shallow entity

it's quite sad to be stuck in somewhere resembling a time warp when the world goes on outside your cocoon.

***

i think of your full fringe now swept to the side and i think of how i tied my hair up today and yet my nape wasn't exposed because i was wearing that semi-shirt that i bought when i was with you, while things were still fine. i'm glad i can still fit into that shirt.

the pink. Mr Brightside the Pink. this suddenly reminds me of my pinky ring that i bought myself when i declared independence and which i lost somewhere in bugis, either left in the gym shower or slipping off my hand as it glides through the air in a futile attempt to catch the bus.

when switching on the current i think of seven years ago when i was all alone in that big school and how you were all alone too and how your bus rides to school ensured that you would pass me by every morning. i still remember shouting to you over the phone that you shouldn't let your life be such, that if it were such, you'd be better off dead by jumping into a river. at that exact moment, it hadn't occured to me that a river was probably a shallow entity.

but you're fine now and done good, that much my green eyes must rest. you have a big car and a fancy girl with pink hair and not much that i care about you but for god's sake stop trying to get to me when i know you don't care about me, it doesn't bother me much. oh, the pink again.

since when was i so associated with pink?

i lost the pinky ring and now i still absently graze my thumb across the base of my tiniest finger, hoping to reach for a tinge of metal and the criss-crossed patterns engraved on the ring. i could always reach for hers but it isn't the same. and for that, i won't.

words of the day: celebrated - initiative, infer, indulgent? no, of course not. briny.

everyday is a winding road darling, it's how you wind you way through it perhaps. but some days simply suck.

it's just the start of term, just the start of term.