her wedding

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weddings now invariably remind me of funerals, the order, the structure, how some things necessarily have to be done in a certain manner, at a certain time. the void that fills the room once the girl is married off, furniture stripped of character, of a room no longer imbumed with the scent of someone living in it. dust that fills the room a month after it has been void.

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in other news, i have been having torrid dreams. a dog and a chequered human keep haunting my dreams. it was in a dark bar, not unlike the one in the city of blinding lights and i was seated opposite the pair of them, next to a female who was part of them, trying to attribute what was said to a particular motive, and they were all against my perception. what does that tell you?

***

i dreamt of someone else today. drinks at a hawker centre, choosing to go to a second stall further away instead for some palatable reason i've forgotten. the person i was having drinks with was as usual thinking that i was having some impediment of some kind, for choosing to go to a stall further away instead. making sounds with her lips to bring attention to my apparent impediment as i walk towards the second stall, as if saying, you no longer matter to me. your opinions no longer count, i am my own person.

***

i also dreamt of lieutenant mamiya's story, ala in a singaporean context? or rather, my dream context, but the eyes frozen in shock were still the same, the body white of flesh, as every piece of skin is tenderly peeled off, strange though that no red flesh could be seen. burnt till white, perhaps? i'm not sure. the car crashed through glass windows, and burned.

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and i woke up thinking of the girl who burned to death in her car, screaming while people looked on helplessly.

***

oh. i suddenly know why i dreamt that dream.
because i was watching police story, and some guy burned in the car, while anthony something wailed around the car, fire extinguisher in hand.

an anti-climax.