Friday, July 08, 2005

black afterspots

the feel of the soft pillow against skin as "losing my religion" plays in the background, gregorian chant style. black spots appear, the result of having the eyes closed for too long, thinking angry thoughts, looking back at the past, feeling all the walls crumble.
and suddenly, it feels as though i were in secondary school once more and, ironically, like an onion, trying to have all the folds and layers of protection over the centre. so the folds build up in time, but today, for a certain time and space, it feels as though all the layers are stripped bare, the onion's centre revealed, the rest ready for cooking. or maybe not.
close your eyes. you will feel disoriented. sight helps us to see, to gain a perspective on ourselves, on space and time.
stand on one leg. put the other against your inner thigh of the leg you are balancing on. make sure you balance, then close your eyes. you will probably fall.
why?
for the same reason. eyes are important and give us a perspective to life.
so my eyes today, closed against bright flourescent light, were new to light when they reopened again at the end of a song. it was a long lost feeling, mostly associated with childhood, with lying in bed and not sleeping, with the lights on when i was too afraid of the dark.
but i don't understand why i'm digressing.

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